It’s really unfortunate how the college-dating scene works these days. It’s not the way it used to be. Some people don’t go out on dates and never get to experience the nervouseness and butterflies of a real first date, a “relationship” is often associated with “hook-ups”, temporary flings, and someone in the mix saying, “it’s complicated”. Then you have to add in the chaos of classes, who knows what extra activities you’re involved in, interning, being an adult and growing old, and finding the time to maintain whatever it is you have with someone and it may seem a little bit impossible.
BUT for all you romantics out there, you should know that having a serious relationship in college IS possible and worth it. It’s all about hard work and picking the right person. I never expected to be in a long-term relationship while I was in college. I was thrown into the scene of getting used to everything. Moving into a dorm, then a house the next semester, joining organizations, getting used to the college load of school work, and trying to figure out life on my own and then I met someone and now I’ve been with him just a little short of two years & I am so excited to see what our future has in store for us. I wasn’t looking when I found him and my attention was too focused on other things but the best things come into your life when you aren’t looking for them. With some time spent over a few months we became really good friends and then we started dating. The only thing I don’t get is when someone is so desperate for a relationship they will settle for anyone that gives them the smallest attention and rush right into a relationship and you really shouldn’t do that & you should never settle for someone less than what you think you deserve.
I do not believe in a perfect relationship and mine hasn’t always been easy, there’s been some really rough patches we thought we couldn’t get through, especially being our age and in college with the stress of the whole world falling down on us but we’ve learned. We’ve proved to each other how much we have cared about each other despite everything else we have been through. I am still young and have a lot to learn myself but a relationship is worth it in college if you choose to make it a healthy one.
College life can get pretty stressful and hectic, so time management and finding a happy balance in things is key. As time keeps passing by in our relationship classes have gotten more demanding and relationships don’t get easier the longer you’re in them. We’re complete opposites, I have to be as involved as I can, have everything completely planned out, and always have something to do. However he is nothing like that, he is a spare of the moment kind of person and his planning includes last second but it’s a nice little difference every once in a while when I can stop whatever I am doing and go do something spontaneous and random. Finding time to see each other and make plans has contributed to some of the worst rough patches in our relationship but having random every once in a while moments completely by yourself is what refreshes things the most. We also do our best to balance everything else, to manage time with our friends and with our organizations and schoolwork. I don’t focus all my time on him but it’s healthy to do so then when we do have time together it’s actually special.
Trust is an ultimate requirement to a strong and healthy relationship—not only in college, but at any point in your life. I am all about having fun but once you find someone that is really worth your time you start to see fun in a different way than most college students. Not saying that your boyfriend or girlfriend shouldn’t allow you to do things you want to do, or require you to “ask permission” to do things. I hate those couples. You should be able to go and have fun and do what you want but also keep in mind that you’re in a relationship and you should respect what your significant other likes and doesn’t like.
I’m not saying you have to give up your fun for another person but one of the things I have learned being in a young relationship I take myself out of temptation and distraction.
With so many things going on being in college, there are weekly parties and other fish in the sea, so it can be pretty tempting to get distracted. So the only thing to do is simply take yourself out of situations like that. Trust is something that develops with time. Being consistently affectionate, considerate and loyal is a way to prove it. Trust is something hard to gain and easy to lose. Once it is lost, it takes a lot of time to gain it back and have that trust again.
Lastly, HAVE FUN. Make the most of every second you have together when you do have time to spend together. Appreciate that person. Do little things for them, be spontaneous, be appreciative, show affection, and be a best friend.
Ultimately, a relationship is a very strong commitment that you make to another person, you’re giving someone the ability to completely break your heart, if you let them and you should really consider if the person is worth a relationship before you date them. If you don’t think that’s right for your current life, there’s nothing wrong with being single, having casual relationships or just taking the time to figure out what you really want in a significant other. All I am saying is that if you choose to make it one, a college relationship can be worth it.